GREY
A Celebration of Grace in the New Year
Today, the last day of this year, dawns sunny, the sky a brittle blue, an unusual (though welcome) break from never-ending days of raw, monochromatic grey notable to this December. Winnie-the-Pooh weather, imbued with the sentiments of Eeyore. The trees, the sky, the fields—even the plants—all a palette of subtlety. This neutral dullness makes the shorter days more easily fade into the grace of night. At least on the outside. Although the bluster discourages work on the land beyond picking up branches hurled from the treetops to my drive, inside, grey becomes a contemplation. A celebration.
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Melissa, my wondrous yoga teacher, ends every practice with, “The light and dark in me sees and honors the light and dark in you.” White is light, and ethereal, sacred and safe. Black is dark and represents the darker moments, thoughts, and feelings, and these can be scary. Grey, where black meets white, allows entry to black and to white, a holding place to choose which direction to turn to.
I appreciate that the dark in us can be brought out into the open, acknowledged, and celebrated. For dark is not bad—it is the absence of light—and without dark, light would have no meaning.
Grey allows entry to black and to white, a holding place to choose direction.
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A STUDY IN GREY
Grey is a mystery.
Grey is fog.
Grey is smoke.
Grey is illusion and allusion.
Grey is where black and white converge.
Grey is neutral. (As are black and white).
Grey is indecisive.
Grey is where one wallows, reflects, ponders.
Grey is an enigma.
Grey is uncommitted.
Grey is unopinionated.
Grey is neutral.
Grey is the color of undyed wool.
Grey smells of grief—and of hope.
Grey is the space between things. Between events.
Grey is the horizon before the sun rises (or descends) into blinding light (or inky darkness).
Grey is the color of aging.
Grey provides grace.
Grey is intentional.
Grey is a choice.
I do not make resolutions but I do make intentions. This year I intend to linger in the grey. To be intentional in examining the extremes of black and white, and to find my truth in the between space that touches and muddles sharp contrasts. That is, I choose to focus on the nuances of things—and people—on where dark truths bump up against white truths. For isn’t honest truth found somewhere between these edges?
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What Was in 2025 and What Will Be in 2026… A Synopsis
OLD WORK: Today is my last official day as a professor at the University of Maryland. A bittersweet transition which I recently chronicled (and, like any change, will continue to process and ponder). Part of the transition has been releasing the ego of this identity and accepting the ‘rest’ of me that has lurked below the surface. This Year: I will continue to study drug and vaccine safety, but unencumbered from grants and titles, in the capacity of consultant and advisor.
NEW WORK: In August, I launched ROOT RISE BE, my fledgling business where love of nature and creativity collide. While setting up this tiny LLC has entailed much tedium (paperwork and licenses and taxes and so on), mostly it has started to achieve my primary goal: development of community. A safe space to create and think, to educate and share plant medicine wisdom, to make and celebrate the beautiful. And, of course, to build my apothecary, a place to store and make my potions and salves and teas. All workshops are in person because in person has become a lost art, and my objective is to resurrect community where hugs are given freely. This Year: Writing Tiny Workshops, Plant Tea Talk, Don’t Whack Those Weeds, CREATE-Ins, and more. Subscribe to my free newsletter ROOT RISE BE Substack to stay up-to-date on workshop and product offerings.
MAMA NATURE: After two years, I completed the course work and volunteer hours necessary to become a West Virginia Master Naturalist. It’s been an awesome experience, and I’ve learned a lot about native flora and fauna. This year: I will continue to volunteer and participate in educational events such as bird walks, nature journaling, tree planting, and teaching. As well, I continue my plant medicine education with the Chestnut School of Herbal Medicine and several local offerings.
WRITING: This past year most of my writing has focused on revision of not 1, not 2, but 3 novels. But I did manage a few glimmerings of several small fictions and poems, a few of which made it to ‘the end’. Two shorts accepted for upcoming print publication, and a third, Didn't We Realize We Were Drowning?, won a slot in Fractured Lit's upcoming anthology. This Year: I am looking forward to a writing workshop with Susan Muaddi Darraj, author of the endearing novel Behind You Is the Sea, among other works. It will be intense six weeks where I will put up the openings of at least 2, perhaps all 3, of my novels for dissection. As well, I will continue with my excellent literary fiction on-line critique group, which means in any given month I’m reading 4 novels or short story collections. In addition to revision of my three novels, I am revisiting Love, Life, and Other Devastations, my chapbook in progress, as well as A Slice of Bread, a ‘proper’ short story. And write the dratted query letters, as this is the year I buckle down and market my work.
GOD AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF: In 2025, I found a spiritual home at Unity of Hagerstown. I am grateful for this place, this space, and the minister and congregants that fill it. This place and its teachings have brought me to this place of grey, and has helped me (finally!) shed my beliefs of fear and scarcity and replace them with courage and abundance.
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All these pursuits, these passions, these anchors leave me plenty of room to muck in the grey. I am grateful for all I have experienced and will continue to experience, the dark and the light and the everything in between. May 2026 grace you with ambiguity and mystery, and the chance to explore the edges. Peace…